We are very hard on ourselves as women. It is a pervasive theme reinforced by society, and often unknowingly by our own families, our partners and ourselves. Sexism can weave itself into our psyches and impact our self esteem, confidence, relationships and our place in the world. Finding alternative ways to talk to ourselves and others and to learn the art of self-compassion and forgiveness can be a tall order. One of the main components of my work is to help you to repair or "re-parent" yourself so that you can clear the path to live in a way that is freer and more authentic, more empowered. The good news is that this is always possible, at any phase in life. I'm here to help you through the landscape of complex emotions that come with womanhood so that you can architect the livelihood you seek.
At the core of our humanness lies our relationships with others. Marriage and partnership can challenge us in ways we never expected. We have learned a version of this narrative which tells us that a loving relationship has some very specific/prescribed qualities. Yet what you are experiencing may be in direct conflict with those ideals. And you are looking to find another way. I am here to help you to navigate the emotional intricacies that accompany the merging of your life with that of another flawed human being. I will incorporate communication techniques using tenets from Emotionally Focused Therapy and Mindfulness so that together, you and your partner can learn one another in a way that creates deeper understanding, connection and intimacy.
ADULT CHILDREN OF NARCISSISTS
Growing up with a parent who is narcissistic has a unique impact on our our emotional development as adults. As an adult child of a narcissist (ACON), you may find that you are constantly focused on others' needs, often to the extent that you don't know what YOU want or need. Perhaps you are anxious or fearful of others reactions, that others will be angry with you or you find yourself working very hard to prevent others from having negative feelings. Sometimes even at the expense of your own peace or contentment. You may feel indecisive and unsure of yourself and you suffer as a result of trying so hard to make others "happy". These are coping mechanisms you learned to survive being in an environment that was unpredictable and/or unstable, and new habits and belief systems can be learned. I will guide you and gently challenge you to in navigate this pain and growth. We will work together to locate your inner resilience and establish new ways that will enable you to face what lies ahead, and most importantly, what lies within.
Whether motherhood is new to you or you’ve been doing it for years, our relationships with our children, our partners/the world and even with ourselves can be profoundly challenged. We all know how beautiful it CAN be… how fulfilling and transcendent. Yet what if it doesn’t feel that way? What if it feels entirely overwhelming, or you are constantly feeling sad, angry, even empty? Or perhaps you worry you may have Postpartum Depression. Is there a place for you to authentically express these feelings, without judgement? I know how all-consuming motherhood can be and that it can trigger all sorts of self-doubt, old traumas/memories and most often, GUILT. You are not alone. I can guide you through the intricacies, struggles and triumphs of motherhood with compassion and skill so that we can work towards a more calm, happy version of yourself. Transformation is possible.
DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
Perhaps you find yourself experiencing an underlying sense of malaise, not about anything specific, but nothing quite seems as it should. Life just feels hard, and even the good things tend to have a shadow or undertone of discontent. You may find yourself crying and you’re not even sure why, or perhaps you’re having challenges in your relationships at home/work or with friends. You feel it’s difficult to see the good in yourself and/or others, and the focus on that is causing you great pain. Or maybe you ruminate often, so much that you lose sleep, are having trouble focusing, and experience a constant feeling of hypervigilance or worry. Depression and anxiety (including Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders), although common, are real and can profoundly impact your quality of life. Our work together will help you to understand some of the roots of your anxiety and/or depression, whether it’s genetic, learned or situational, so that you can begin to find relief and re-build your sense of self. Through a combination of CBT and Mindfulness, I will help you to first identify and challenge negative thought patterns, then implement more productive ways of relating to yourself and others. Ultimately, our work together will enable you to find your way to a more sustainable, healthy and joyous way of living.
GRIEF AND LOSS
Losing someone you love whether it be through death, pregnancy loss, divorce/breakup, or other losses, can unearth feelings that seem completely foreign to you. The waves of grief can feel overpowering and insurmountable. You are not sure if you can do it. I have walked this path with many people and while this might be your most difficult life challenge yet, it too can open you up in ways you never thought possible. I will guide you through the cycles of grief as you are ready, and begin to foster the healing process in a way that matches who you are. A primary focus of our work will also be for me to gently challenge you to find your inner resources and resiliencies. Most importantly, I will provide you with the freedom and space to share your genuine emotions, so that you can make room for the hope, healing and PEACE you seek.